Why I Think Every Girl Should Understand Her Family's Finances — Even If Nobody Wants to Talk About It

There is a version of growing up in an Indian family where money is something that happens around you but not to you. The bills get paid. The groceries arrive. The school fees are sorted. And none of it is explained, because it's adult territory and you're not an adult yet.

I understand why families do this. Protecting children from financial stress is a form of love. But there is a cost — and it's a cost that lands hardest on girls.

Boys in Indian families are more likely to be brought into conversations about money as they get older. Not always. Not universally. But the pattern exists. Girls are more likely to be protected from those conversations entirely — right up until they are adults who are expected to manage their own finances without any preparation.

What you actually need to understand about your family's finances

Not the specific numbers. Not the account balances or the salaries. The concepts and the patterns.

Where does the money come from? One income or two? Is it stable or variable? Do your parents run a business with unpredictable revenue, or do they receive a fixed salary? This shapes how your family thinks about spending and saving in ways that are worth understanding.

What are the major expenses? Rent or home loan. School fees. Insurance. Savings. EMIs. Understanding that these exist and roughly what they mean gives you a context for why money is sometimes tight even when your parents are working hard.

Does your family save and invest? If yes, how? A PF, a PPF, mutual funds, fixed deposits, gold? Or is the savings approach more informal? Understanding this tells you about your family's financial habits — which you will either replicate or deliberately do differently.

How to have this conversation without making it awkward

Don't ask for numbers. Ask for concepts. There's a big difference between 'how much do you earn?' and 'how did you decide what kind of account to save in?' The first feels invasive. The second sounds like genuine curiosity — which it is.

Start with something you're already learning. Tell a parent you've been reading about budgeting or investing and ask if they do it differently in practice. Most parents are genuinely glad when their child shows financial curiosity. They just don't always know how to start the conversation themselves.

Ask about their mistakes. 'What do you wish you'd understood about money earlier?' is one of the best questions I know. It invites honesty without requiring your parents to perform financial authority they might not feel.

Why this matters beyond just learning

Understanding your family's financial reality changes how you experience it. When you know why money is sometimes tight, you stop reading it as a personal failure or a source of shame. When you understand what your parents have built financially, you have a foundation to either build on or course-correct from.

And when you are eventually responsible for your own finances — which will happen sooner than you think — you won't be starting from zero. You'll be starting from understanding.

Has anyone in your family ever talked to you openly about money? What did they say — or what do you wish they'd said? Tell me in the comments. These conversations matter.

— Anaya Deshmukh, Daughters of India